You Know You're Obsessed When
by TheTrekkieGirl
Summary: I'm not dead! But I have found how fun these are. More to come, and not just for Star Trek! I'm open to suggestions, and I'm SO sorry for leaving for over two months. I'm also bumping up the rating just in case.
1. Star Trek

**You know you're obsessed with Star Trek when...  
**You've watched every episode of your respective series over spring break.

You can name every main character and their vital statistics at the drop of a hat.

And their life story.

You know the name of every series of ST and the captain of each.

References made to ST, no matter how many times you see them, make you giddy with euphoria.

You've fangirled over your favorite character(s) at least once.

You've dumped a bf/gf on the sole premise that they didn't like Star Trek.

Or because they hated it/your favorite series.

And the person being dumped was cute/hot/sweet/sophisticated/chivalrous/etc.

Star Wars fans piss you off.

You've debated with others at least once over who was the better captain – Kirk or Picard.

You've had these debates with yourself.

You've factored in Nu!Kirk in these debates.

You've brought up other ST captains (Sisko, Janeway, Adama, Archer, etc.) during said debates.

You know how to play Fizzbin, and have done so on at least one occasion.

You made an OC for ST before you even knew what an OC was.

You know that the term Mary-Sue came from a ST fanfic.

You knew that Wesley Crusher was a Gary-Stu.

You love Wesley Crusher regardless.

You can relate to characters of your series on a daily basis.

You actually watch ST on a daily basis.

You understand the political/spiritual/religious/controversial parts of ST plots, what they mean, and how they apply to current (or past) events.

You fangirl over Shatner and/or Nimoy to this day, even though they're both old enough to be your grandfather.

Chekov's accent, be it TOS or Reboot, never fails to make you squee.

Aforementioned accent is, in your opinion, the cutest thing you've ever heard.

You were over the moon when you found out Nimoy was in the 2009 movie.

The 2009 movie made you mad simply because JJ ruined the best duo in history.

Which, as you obviously know, is Kirk and Spock.

You make random references to ST in normal conversations.

You know every one of McCoy's "I'm a doctor, not a" lines.

You squeed when not one, but two new "I'm a doctor, not a" lines made it into the 2009 movie.

You can explain the "Spock: Death-Resurrection" arc in great detail.

You know that Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres of Voyager were made for each other.

The same goes for Riker and Deanna.

You know Seven of Nine was to boost ratings.

You still like Seven of Nine despite that.

You got pissed, threw something and cried when Spock died.

And when Kirk died.

And when Data died.

And you know which movies these three events happened in. (The Wrath of Khan; Generations; Nemesis)

And you know how they died. (radiation poisoning; crushed by a bridge; exploding ship)

Interrupt you while you're watching ST and you'll show _them_ anger issues.

You've written fanfiction for ST.

_Long _fanfiction.

When people call you a geek/nerd/dork, you smile.

Better yet, you give them a hug and thank them.

Then give them a cookie.

You have at least one theory as to why Uhura was missing in "The Doomsday Machine".

You wish you could join Starfleet.

You like to pretend you're in Starfleet.

You do this with friends.

You've seen all the movies at least once.

If you'd been a writer for Enterprise, T'Pol and Archer's wedding would've been the series finale.

You have dreams about ST.

You don't get why people don't like ST.

You've wanted to marry certain characters at times.

You've done at least five things on this list.

Your first crush was an ST character.

You love the 60s.

You know firsthand how cheesy special effects were in the 60s.

People have dumped you before because you cared more about ST.

You turned down a date with your crush because you were planning to watch ST movies that night.

If you accepted, all you talked about was ST.

47 is your favorite number.

You go halfway across the world to meet your favorite ST actor.

…...

A/N Got any suggestions? Review away!


	2. Spock

A/N This one's for you, Spockaholic!

Also, I'm taking a small break from TVD. You may also have noticed that I un-faved a lot of stories and deleted the old second chapter of this. She doesn't like me reading slash and I'm trying to lay low for a while. Sorry. ^^;

**You know you're obsessed with Spock when...  
**You use big words that you hear him use, even though it's technobabble/you don't know what they mean.

You've used one of said words without knowing what it meant.

And had people stare at you funny when you tell them where you learned it.

The only episodes of TNG you watched were the two with Spock in it. (A/N: the names escape me atm)

"Logical" is your favorite word.

"Fascinating" is your second favorite.

"Plastic surgery to get Vulcan eyebrows and ears" is on your list of things to do when you turn 18.

Every little thing he does makes you fangirl squee.

You don't understand why T'Pring rejected Spock.

And you hate her for it.

And you hope that she died when Vulcan was destroyed.

Spock was your first crush.

You believe that Vulcans exist and are waiting for them to show themselves.

You often quote Spock in normal conversation.

And have people look at you like you're crazy.

You've wanted to kill those bullies who were mean to Spock.

"Galileo Seven" and "The Apple" are your least favorite TOS episodes.

Or your most favorites, depending on the fangirl type.

You've seriously considered number 7.

Any reference to Spock makes you go fangirl.

"Patterns Of Force" is your all-time favorite episode.

You hate Uhura, Chapel, that Romulan Commander and anyone else who likes Spock for that sole reason.

You use him as an example to your Otaku friends of a "living bishi".

Cause he is.

Especially in 2009.

You don't ship Spirk, not because you don't like it, but because you want Spock for yourself.

You love and hate Angsty!Spock fics.

You've debated which was better – TOS!Spock or Nu!Spock.

You've held such debates with yourself.

And somehow, Mirror!Spock found his way into aforementioned debates.

You use the way Spock swears in TVH because you think it's funny.

And get even more weird stares.

You threw a hysterical fit and cried for hours (maybe even days) when Spock died in TWOK.

You broke something important (like a window or a lamp) in said fit.

And you got weird stares (yet again) from your parents when they came to ask _why _you were throwing a hysterical fit.

You got mad at/hate JJ Abrams for killing Spock's mom and destroying his planet.

And you bought a dartboard just so you could put a picture of JJ's face on it and throw sharp things at it.

You've had at least one fangasm over Spock.

People think you're insane.

You've done things on this list.

You can actually _add_ to this list.

You're _dying_ to know what Spock's last name is.

You learned Vulcan just so you could make one up.

Spock's eyebrows in "Where No Man Has Gone Before" piss you off with their inaccuracy.

You wondered what the costume department was on when that episode was in production.

You tried to find "The Cage" just because it had Spock in it.

Your username on most websites has "Spock" and "oholic" in it.

"The Naked Time" is both hated and loved by you.

You've left comments on Angsty!Spock fics/pics among the lines of "Poor Spocky pie... :("

More than once.

(spockfish owns all of these)  
You Google pictures of Spock with your spare time  
You search for and rent all movies that were ever acted in or directed by Leonard Nimoy  
You draw pictures of Spock/Vulcans in the margins of your school notes  
You draw yourself as a Vulcan in the margins of your school notes.  
You draw yourself as a Vulcan WITH Spock in the margins of your school notes  
You know where the line "live long and SUCK IT" came from (as well as "Let's see how I been prosprin'"  
You daydream about random people in your life having pointy ears when you're bored.  
You bought and watched all the seasons of "Heroes" because Sylar is toootally SPOCK!  
You constantly imagined Sylar with pointy ears in EVERY episode  
You own a Spock doll  
Your phone has a pictures/cartoons of Spock as the background  
Your room has a pictures/cartoons of Spock on the walls  
You (occasionally)accidentally do the Vulcan salute when waving you your friends at school  
You giggle when you hear/read the word "Fascinating" at any point in the day even if it has NOTHING to do with star trek.  
You think Spock should be voted "Sexist man Alive" even though he doesn't exist.  
Three words: "Spock for president"  
You read CH. 2 of "You Know Your Obsessed When," and found you can relate to EVERYTHING written and actually could add more to the list!

(Property of T'Vis)

If you know Spock's blood type.(S positive)(actually T-Negative)  
You can name his ancestors.

(A/N Thanks T'Vis.:)

(Property of Lula1)

You were jealous of Bones for carrying Spock's katra.(Thanks Lula1)

A/N Thanks spockfish! Just... work on your grammar ^^; 


	3. McCoy

A/N Due to popular demand (and by that, I mean two reviews) I'm making a McCoy chapter!

**You know you're obsessed with Leonard McCoy when...**  
You meet someone with the name McCoy and call them Bones.

Then unnerve that person when you explain _why _you just called them Bones.

You hate his ex-wife.

You can't imagine _why _she dumped him.

You think you'd be a good stepmom to Joanna.

You went into a violent and hysterical fit, screamed, cried, and broke things when you found out DeForest Kelley died.

You broke important things in this fit (ex. - windows; vases; TV screens; mirrors; picture frames; etc.).

Your parents didn't get why you were throwing a fit over this.

But you were so depressed they let you miss school anyway.

You were overjoyed when he made it into that one episode of TNG.

You get jealous of those hypos he uses.

You want to be a doctor.

Or a CMO.

Even though you need to be in the Navy for that (I think).

You want to cure cancer because that's what DeForest Kelley died of.

You know every single one of the "I'm a doctor, not a" one liners.

You've made up some of your own pertaining to you.

And you've called yourself a doctor by mistake.

Then had to explain _why _you just told this person you were a doctor.

Or you said the exact quote, then had to explain why you were a doctor, not a physicist.

Or not a bricklayer.

Or an escalator.

Or a moon shuttle conductor.

Or a psychiatrist.

Or an engineer.

Or a mechanic.

Or a magician.

Or a coal miner.

You can name all the episodes these came from.

You even know the ones from Voyager, Deep Space 9, and Enterprise.

And the ones that didn't even involve a doctor.

Even though he will never replace good ol' Kelley, you love Karl Urban.

I mean, who can resist those eyes? And that face, that body...

Sigh...3


	4. NCIS

A/N I'm taking a break from Star Trek to do another of my great TV loves – NCIS!

EDIT: I DO actually know that, Heylo (). But what I mean is, on NCIS, they make it seem like 90% of the crimes in the world (or at least Washington D.C.) are related in some way to the Navy. It didn't have anything to do with me not knowing who they work for. No offense.

**You know you're obsessed with NCIS when...  
**You can name each season premiere and season finale in chronological order in under a minute.

You know each character by their full name.

And every little detail of their lives.

You want to join NCIS.

Even though you might die.

You've wondered how there are so many cases that involve the Navy in their universe.

Seriously, what happened to the lowly street gangs starting fistfights in the slums and those crazies robbing banks to pay off their debts?

You get sad when your favorite characters leave the show/get killed.

You're so comfortable with certain characters that you can actually get _annoyed_ by them.

You can tell which episode you're watching just by the sounds in the show's background.

You know how each person will react to each scenario.

Even if you haven't seen the episode before.

You can name all of the "relevant episodes"(I'm eyeballing you, Carrina).

It annoys you when people ask if NCIS is anything like CSI.

Or they just plain don't know what NCIS is.

You got sad/mad when Kate died.

You wish all medical examiners could be like Ducky.

Abby has made you appreciate Gothic culture.

You love it when everyone is trying to get Gibbs' attention.

You hate Chip.

You know why Abby put the tape on his head.

Three words – painful hair removal.

You hate Ari Haswari.

You wanted to help Gibbs kill him.

You cheered when Ziva shot him in the head.

You know every Ziva-ism.

You tend to use them in normal conversation.

Actually, scratch that – you use them _all the time_.

You weren't afraid of being buried alive until you watched "Silver War".

You went and bought a stuffed hippo named Bert.

You even asked the people at Build-A-Bear if there was a way to make it fart.

And filed a complaint about the lack of that option.

You feel sorry for Palmer yet shake your head at his ignorance often.

You know what a "Sexy Paris Flashback" is.

You wonder why Gibbs doesn't just go by Leroy instead of Jethro.

Then realize that Jethro sounds cool. Leroy is about as sexy as a decomposed corpse.

As in not at all.

You thought Gibbs was too happy in those first episodes.

You sleep in a coffin just because Abby does.

Even if you are _deathly _claustrophobic.

You feel sorry for McGee.

Everyone always picks on McGee.

Even Gibbs.

Whenever the title sequence starts, you dance to the theme song.

70s style.

Or break dance. Whatever floats your boat.


	5. Star Wars

A/N T'Key'la? This one's for you. I don't actually have anything against Star wars myself, I just don't obsess over it like I used to. *Takes a moment to watch Obi-Wan fight Darth Vader* However, I assume there **are** Trekkies out there who hate Star Wars and vice versa.

Is it bad that I've been replaying A New Hope over and over these past 36 hours?

EDIT: I got an anonymous review with the name of (). In response to your request: I don't watch Doctor Who. I don't know enough about the series to make one. Sorry ^^;

**You know you're obsessed with Star Wars when...  
** You can name the main and supporting cast of every movie.

You camped out to get tickets for a midnight showing of every movie.

You often stress the point that, while The Phantom Menace was _chronologically _the first, A New Hope was the first one _made_.

You often send people off by saying 'May the Force be with you'.

You like people with the names Ben, Luke, etc.

You get annoyed that, even though Luke's lightsaber in _Return of the Jedi _is **green **on the cover, it is shown on the disk as **blue**.

You fangirl over Mark Hammil and Harrison Ford to this day, even though they're both old enough to be your grandpas.

You've gone as Slave Leia at least once for Halloween/Comic Con/ other.

Screw those damn critics and their negative reviews; you fucking love the prequel trilogy (This is me).

You watch the movies (any one of the seven) every day (This used to be me).

You want an Ewok SO BADLY.

You camped out to see a midnight showing of at least one of the movies.

You've actually bothered to think about it and have concluded that every event that happens in the movies can be blamed on the Trade Federation.

You get annoyed when you meet a so-called "fan" of Star Wars and they have no clue that Leia eventually became a Jedi or that Luke got married and has a kid.

Seriously, people – _read the damn books_.

You were so thrilled that they were making a seventh movie (and making it a TV series) that you broke something in a happy fit.

And didn't give a fuck; moar Star Wars!

Star Trek fans piss you off (not me).

You weren't afraid of getting stuck in some trash compactor... thingy until you saw A New Hope.

One of your Trekkie friends (assuming you have any) forced you to watch The Search for Spock, and when Sarek appeared wearing the cloak, your first thought was "Jedi!" (Again, this was me).

The ending of Return of the Jedi made you tear up.

You were stunned out of your mind when you found out Vader was Luke's father.

And you were staring slack-jawed at the screen long after the movie ended.

Seriously, _what the fucking Hell just happened here!_

You meet people who are a lot like you; get along with you and make you laugh, and drop them like a hot potato when you find out they hate Star Wars.

Despite the ridiculousness, you like Jar Jar Binks.

Someone tells you they like Justin Bieber, and you say "Fuck her, I like Star Wars!"

Unless, you know... You actually LIKE Justin Bieber.

Oh, who am I kidding? How many teeny-bopper little pop-princesses do you know that that like Star Wars?

When you see Christmas colors you think of Luke's fight with his father; or Qui-Gon fighting Darth Maul, not the other way around.

You own at least one toy lightsaber.

And at least one action figure.

You get swamped with plot bunnies for Star Wars fanfiction on a daily basis.

You've wondered if the Sith ever thought to use lightsabers that weren't red.

I mean, you'd think they get them mixed up a lot!


End file.
